Who knew that Zoom fatigue would become a real thing?  Isn’t it crazy that just two years ago so many things that are now “normal” were simply unheard of?  It really freaks me out to sit down and truly think about all of the changes we have gone through in such a relatively short amount of time.  I am very happy to be on the other side of most of it, particularly Zooming.  I did quite a bit of Zooming during the pandemic.  A lot of things that I normally did in person suddenly become necessarily virtual- doctor’s appointments, therapy appointments, meetings, professional development, planning for professional development, and the list goes on.  I went from an average understanding of how to Zoom to being able to host professional development via Zoom with all the bells and whistles.  Like all things, the ability to Zoom brought lots of great possibilities, and a few real headaches.

Without Zoom, I might have simply perished from loneliness and missing my friends.  Sure, we texted and called, but it’s not the same.  When our faces popped up on the Zoom screen, we all squealed like it was the first day of first grade and we discovered we were in the same class.  We waved and smiled and immediately explained why we looked so bad.  It was non stop laughing and fun on days when the news was anything but fun.  When the Zoom ended, we waved again fiercely, as if we were sailing off into the sunset.  Those Zooms did make up for some of the boring meeting Zooms.

Zooms were also helpful because they did keep our work going, even though we were stuck at home or unable to travel as much as usual.  I was able to meet with large groups of teachers, and that would only have been possible virtually.  We did lots of breakout rooms and Jamboards and Padlets and anything else I could think of to make it interactive.  It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than not meeting at all.

We also got to meet everyone’s pets on Zoom.  My two cats, Lilly and Colt, enjoyed Zooming much more than I did.  Colt was a particularly avid Zoomer. He likes the computer in general, but he is interested in anything I am doing that is taking away from petting him.  He would sit on the keyboard during Zooms.  He was not the only cat I saw doing this.  I saw lots of cats on laps during Zoom meetings.  I saw dogs on beds.  I became so familiar with the pets that I inquired as to their whereabouts when they were missing from the screen.  

So I am glad that we were able to Zoom.  But I am even more glad that we don’t have to do it as much anymore.  Why?  Is it just me, or was anyone else really, really tired of staring at herself on a screen all day long?  I get myself ready in the morning and then I pretty much go all day long without looking at myself.  I am perfectly fine with that.  I have no desire to admire myself throughout the day.  Staring at myself on a screen was pure torture.  I don’t know if it’s just when I’m Zooming or all the time, but I looked completely disgusted.  I can just imagine what people who don’t know me are thinking, “Oh, look at that poor, wrinkly elderly woman.  She is clearly disgusted.  She must have not gotten her prune juice this morning.”  And no matter what lighting I had, my skin tone was horrendous.  I either looked like an Oompa Loompa or a wax statue.  I adjusted all of the filters.  Nothing helped, except turning off my camera.  

The one thing I did have going for me was that I was always aware that my camera was on.  I did not pick my teeth.  Or blow my nose.  Or make really weird faces.  Or smush my face right up to the screen to read tiny print.  I also did not smoke or chug a beer during the school day. I saw all of these behaviors while Zooming.  Most of them quite frequently.  I will never understand why people just don’t turn their cameras off.  

On the other hand, sometimes a camera turned off can be very deceptive.  My two work besties and I tried very hard during the pandemic to plan professional development that would help teachers deal with issues that they were facing. In the end, we found that teachers simply had no time to do one more thing, no matter how helpful.  We totally understood, but we tried.  Obviously, we knew that the PD would have to be virtual.  We also knew that it would have to be free, so no registration was necessary.  Teachers could just log in and participate.  It sounded so good when we were planning!  We did one and no teachers logged in.  We were disappointed, but not deterred.  We would try again, with more publicity.  We did end up having a week or two with one or two guests.  Then we had a week when one teacher logged in, but didn’t turn on her camera.  We started off our usual intro slide, and she said nothing.  We didn’t know if she didn’t have sound, or she had stepped away.  So we asked her to type in the chat.  We did get one brief comment, so we forged ahead.  We chatted away for a bit, but she never responded to anything.  It was just the three of us talking to each other.  It was painfully awkward.  We were answering our own questions.  After about twenty minutes, she finally just left the meeting.  We had never been so grateful for a participant to quit!  I don’t know what she had expected, or why she left, but that was the last week we tried that PD.  We still laugh about giving ourselves PD though.  

I’m a people person.  I want to be with people in real life, not on a screen.  Zoom is great for connecting with people from a long distance, and I plan to continue to use it for that.  I hope I can keep my camera turned off, however.  I will be happy and cheery, as will my voice.  I have no explanation for my face.  

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