It’s none of my business, but…

I really try to be a good person.  I go to church on Sundays and I listen and believe.  I read my devotional as I eat breakfast every single morning. I do my best to be kind to others and to try to lift others up.  My mother always told me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I should say nothing at all.  So I KNOW that I should not be bothered by the things I am about to write.  They are absolutely none of my business.  I should mind my own business and not even notice any of this.  The fact that I do notice is clearly a sign that I am a much more terrible person than I dare admit.  All of that good person facade must just be for show. I don’t know what I am going to do with myself.

I just have to wonder if people are really making any effort at all anymore.  Seriously.  Are people so tired or stressed that they cannot perform simple tasks?  I just don’t understand.  These are people like me.  They went to college.  They have professional jobs.  They have nice homes.  But they do strange things that make little sense to me.  I should ignore it.  Everyone else seems to be ignoring it.  How are you all ignoring it?

Let’s take bathing and hair washing as an example.  Not so long ago, we all took a shower/bath every single day and washed our hair on a very regular basis.  Am I the only one who remembers when we all showered everyday?  I am old, but I’m not that old.  When was it decided that it was no longer necessary to use water and soap everyday?  It is hotter than Hades around here in the summer.  If anyone is adjusting the number of showers, I’d say we need to adjust up-not down!  And winter is not necessarily better.  In winter, some people go around smelling like s’mores from too many nights by the woodstove.  Now for the hair.  Dry shampoo is great.  I guess.  I have never used it.  Once my hair has been out in public around all of the dirty air, I feel that it must be washed.  But, I do realize that it is probably better for hair to go a day or two between shampoos.  That’s fine, but if you run a comb through your hair and your comb tracks leave indentions, you need water and wet shampoo.  Period.  You can’t put it into a bun or a ponytail to disguise that nastiness.  Remember that I am talking about people who have professional jobs and nice homes.  I know there are people who do not always have access to bathing facilities.  Those people are not who I am referring to here.  These people have plenty of access. That is what puzzles me.  Why?  Why are they choosing to not bathe and wash their hair?  I have heard them say that they are just too busy and too tired to mess with their hair and to shower in the morning.  Really?  I am pretty busy and tired and I shower and wash my hair.  I feel like we all need to make a little effort to at least not smell.  Is that really too much to ask?

Since I’m on my soapbox, I’m just going to stay here.  What about summer feet?  I know- I don’t have to look.  Everyone has a right to wear whatever they want on their feet and it is none of my business.  So true.  But really.  If you are going to a nice place, should you really have exposed toenail fungus?  Maybe you should and I’m just being snooty.  But if my pedicure is 68 days old, I am choosing closed-toed shoes.  I just think it’s worth a little bit of time to choose appropriate footwear.  Furry slipper sandals seem a little odd walking down a dirty city sidewalk to me.  That fur is getting full of grime.  You can’t wipe synthetic fur clean.  How are you going to get it clean?  You know you are never going to get it clean.  And if you wear flimsy flip flops to a quiet office, they are going to make noise all day long.  All day long.  And they are going to draw attention right to your feet.  I hope your toes are freshly painted and your heels are not cracked.  Everybody will be looking all day long.  Do people think about this?  I am probably the only one who thinks about this.  I do have a certain amount of anxiety.

Clothes.  When I was little, I had a drawer that was just for my pajamas.  At night, when I got ready for bed, I went to this drawer and pulled out my nightgown or pajamas and put them on before bed.  In the morning, I took them off and put on regular clothes.  You know what’s funny?  I still do that now!  I wear different clothes to bed than I wear during the day.  It is so weird.  It’s like I’m a princess or something.  I went to the grocery store this morning.  There was a man walking across the parking lot. If I had to guess, I would say he had been awake all of 7 minutes.  He had on a tee shirt, pajama pants, and slippers.  His hair, which was pretty long, was matted in fine bedhead style and sticking out in wild directions.  It was 11:15 AM.  It was fine.  Again, absolutely none of my business.  I see many people in stores in their pajamas.  The other day, I saw a young woman walking alongside the road with her shirt pulled up and just hanging around her neck.  It was a hot day.  She was just walking down the road in her nude colored bra and a pair of pants.  That seemed like a really bad idea to me.  It is inadvisable to walk down the road in undergarments, even when it is very humid.   In the grocery store, I saw a lady who had on a pair of men’s carpenter shorts.  That wasn’t too weird, except that she had them on backwards.  The zipper and button were in the back.  I have no idea how she got them on and off.  None of my business.

Honestly, I do understand the issue with finding appropriate apparel.  Several months ago, Emily and I went shopping at a mall that houses one of my very favorite ladies’ clothing stores.  I had been browsing there for a while when Emily came in to meet me:

Emily: This is your favorite old lady store.  You haven’t found one thing you like?

Me: No. They only have pajamas.

Emily: (looking around) They don’t have any pajamas here.  These are all boring work clothes, just like you always like.

Me: These are not work clothes, Emily.  They are all loose and flowy and gigantic.  The fabric is pajama fabric.  No one I know would wear anything like this to work.

Emily: That’s because everyone you know is fancy, Mom.  Most people like to be comfortable at work.  These clothes are comfortable.  

Me: You aren’t supposed to be this comfortable at work.  What shoes would one wear with these garments?

Emily: (eyes rolling in exasperation) I don’t know!  Any shoes you want! Birks or Crocs!

Me: Oh. My. Goodness.

Emily: You are hopeless.  Can we just keep looking at stuff for me?

Me: Yes, please.

You know what else I do as an adult that I rarely see anymore?  I eat vegetables.  I sure do.  And I drink water.  And I make myself get up and exercise.  Do I like vegetables, water, or exercise?  Absolutely not.  I would rather sit on behind and drink Diet Coke and eat cake.  And I do those things sometimes, but not all the time.  I see more adults eating like toddlers than I have ever seen before.  I know broccoli tastes bad.  Eat it anyway.  It’s good for you!  And I don’t know how you can afford to pay $9 for fancy tea or coffee every morning, but save that money up and get yourself a nice pedicure.  Your teeth are all going to rot right out of your head.  Are you brushing right after you drink those drinks?  You know you’re not.  This is why your teeth are yellow.  And for heaven’s sake- take a walk.  I often walk up a flight of stairs with twenty or thirty year olds who are huffing and puffing by the time we reach the top.  I am twice your age!  I am not winded.  Take some laps.  Wear your pajamas while you walk, I don’t care.  Your lungs and heart need to work.  Especially if you’re going to eat a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit every morning.  

See?  I’m a terrible person.  I will get off my soapbox now.  I just don’t understand how people who have so much going for them can let so much go.  The mom in me wants to give everyone a nice lecture about making more of an effort.  But, it’s none of my business.  I just need to let it go.  I’m turning into my grandma, who was a notorious busybody.  If you see me coming up to people in the grocery store to give them unsolicited advice, please pull me away!

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