My sister and I recently booked our annual December girls’ trip to celebrate my birthday. For the past two years, we have taken our daughters to a cozy cabin to relax and spend a day Christmas shopping in a nearby city. I am not sure what havoc the virus will bring to our shopping, but I am quite certain we will entertain ourselves somehow. We LOVE girls’ trips. We have gone all sorts of places together, even places that required passports and airport customs and me using my teacher voice in a very loud and authoritative way (very effective, by the way). We all love to travel period, but there is just something special about a girls’ trip. It has to do with what we pack. I happen to be a very good packer. I pack enough for at least a two-week stay in a land where there is basically no food, water, or shelter of any kind- and that is just for an overnight. My sister on the other hand is known to forget basic necessities- like pants. Literally. But that’s not that kind of packing I am referring to anyway. When we travel, we purposely leave behind two things that our husbands never leave home without- truth and reality. (It sounds naughty, but keep in mind that we are traveling with a 10 and a 16-year old and I am blasting this all over the internet. I am not that crazy!)
A teeny break from truth and reality can be soooo refreshing. What does it look and sound like? Here are some possible fun scenarios that can occur when you travel without truth and reality:
Me after driving just thirty minutes into the four hour drive, “Let’s stop and get Big Gulp sodas! I am so thirsty!” Now if we had brought reality along, this would never happen because I would realize that we were going to have to stop five more times to go to the bathroom. Plus, that amount of caffeine after lunch is going to make it impossible for us to sleep later. Reality is a fun sponge!
All of us, “Let’s play Christmas carols and sing along the whole way there!” The truth is that only one of us (my daughter) does not sound like a dying moose when she sings. And on top of not being particularly easy on the ears, we also do not know the words to anything except Jingle Bells and Rudolph. It makes for a loud, rather obnoxious car ride that no one other than us could possibly survive.
My sister after we spend an hour unpacking the car and putting away all of the food we brought to cook, “That was exhausting. I am way too tired to cook anything. Let’s just order a pizza.” Reality would not allow that! Reality would point out the cost of the food we had brought and the time spent packing it, and then having to repack it when we go home. Luckily, we don’t pack reality, so I say, “Good idea. I’ll call.”
Both of us after a long day of driving and unpacking, “Bed time. Lights out! It’s late.” Truth? It is 7:30 P.M. My sister and I will be out cold by 7:34 P.M. The girls will watch a movie, bake brownies, record TikTok videos, have a fashion show, paint their nails, and eat a bowl of cereal before they go to sleep. My sister and I will slumber for a solid twelve hours.
The next day is shopping fun, where truth and reality have no place.
Me, “Let’s stop for fancy coffee on the way to the mall.” In reality, we just made a pot of coffee at the cabin. Plus, we will have to buy the girls something because we got something. And we cannot take it into the stores, so the truth is that it will sit in the car and get cold while we shop. And the girls’ hot chocolate will also sit in the car and get cold. But, it is a girls’ trip and we will enjoy five delicious sips of fancy coffee on our way to the mall.
Me, “Let’s look at Christmas decorations. I need a few more things.” Total lie. I have enough Christmas lights to land Air Force One in my front yard. If it sits still, I’ll wrap lights around it. Every flat surface in my house has some sort of festive decoration on it. And I have boxes full of other decorations that I don’t have a place for, but can’t part with. But as long as truth doesn’t accompany me, it doesn’t hurt to browse.
My sister, “Does this sweater look like me?” The reality is that when she asks that, nine times out of ten I would swear the sweater is one she already has in her closet. But, that’s not what she asked and it does look like her, so I say, “Yes, you should get it!”
No matter where we go, there is always a pet store and we always have to go in. I immediately go to the cat room to pick up and pet every single cat (multiple times) and converse with the cat room attendant. It usually ends with me getting out my phone and showing pictures of my cats. At some point, my daughter comes and drags me out, muttering something about how I’m getting the mange and rabies. I often find delightful goodies in these stores, as well. Me, ” Look! Did you see this adorable turtle scarf! I didn’t even know they made scarves for turtles! You definitely need to get your turtle a scarf for Christmas. You look at them. I’ll be over here getting flannel pajamas for my cats.” In reality, do turtles and cats really need clothes? Who cares?? They look so stinking cute in them.
Any of us, “I know we just ate lunch, but I really want a big cookie. Anyone else?” In truth, you may be busting out of your britches, but you will eat a cookie when one of the other girls wants one. That’s what girls do. They stick together. It doesn’t matter when you last ate or what you last ate, on a girls’ trip, you eat the cookie.
There is only one time when a tiny bit of truth creeps into our girls’ trip, and that’s when one of us has the misfortune of selecting a clothing item that the other girls find unattractive. But in true girls’ trip form, we can’t simply say, “That’s not very cute.” Oh no! We have much more colorful phrases. Here are a few that come to mind:
Do you like these boots? Depends. Are you going for the Pilgrim with a hot date look? (They had a weird buckle- hideous.)
Don’t you love these pants? They look like they were made out of a tablecloth. They make me hungry for fried chicken. (She bought them anyway.)
This sweater is pretty. Yes. Are you going to wear pearl clip-on earrings with it like Grandma did when she wore hers just like it?
Do you like my coat? It looks like something a nun bought off of a clearance rack. (That was actually something my daughter said about a coat I bought!)
Too soon, all of our girls’ trips come to an end and we have to pack up and head home. Back to school and work and back to truth and reality. Reality has a way of smacking you in the face on Monday morning when your work pants are a little snug and you have to do laundry in the evenings to get caught up. But the break is always nice. I encourage everyone to leave truth and reality behind every once and awhile, just for a day or so. Let me know if you need help packing!
